Sunday, August 11, 2013

What Not to Do on the First Day of School

It is that time of year again. I am not writing of back to school sales, clothes shopping, or even the great first day of school. It is the 'What I am doing on the first day of school' post time.

What I am going to do is so much more important. I am going to write things you should absolutely, positively, definitely not do on the first day of school. Heed my warning or be prepared to pay the consequences.

1) Do not play the Sex Pistols Anarchy in the UK

I am not suggesting that the Sex Pistols aren't worth listening to, they are. I am not suggesting that playing this song will result in anarchy in your classroom because it won't. The reason you absolutely should not play this song on the first day is that some student will ask you where the UK is. When you try to explain it is England you will soon be down a rabbit hole. Of course you will never get the student handbook read if you go there. 

2) Do not try to get the students to sing along to the incredibly cute Jimmy Fallon show's version of Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines

Unless you are a music class you really have no business wasting time on today's popular music. Instead I suggest this video of Brian Williams rapping to Good Vibrations

Let's face it Marky Mark is history and Brian Williams is a well respected journalist. This video has you covered with at least 3 different learning objectives!

3) Do not show The Goonies

Yes, The Goonies is a wonderful film from the incredible 80's. Yes, Goonies never say die! Unfortunately The Goonies are practically impossible to follow. Don't shoot off your best fireworks at the beginning of the show, save it for the end! If you absolutely must share your love of The Goonies, might I suggest Cyndi Lauper's opus music video?

This advice also applies to The Princess Bride.

4)  Don't wear a Hawaiian shirt.

Even Tom Selleck can't pull this off. (Especially with the Detroit Tigers hat. I mean, seriously?) 

5) Do not reference Saved by the Bell

Every boy that ever saw an episode knows exactly how John feels:


  1. LOL, this was good. Had me rolling!! :D Can I at least quote from "The Princess Bride"???

    1. I suppose it depends on the quote. I suspect 'Stop saying that!' has been used by many teachers on the first day of school but without giving proper credit.

  2. Golden! Thanks for the chuckles!

  3. Ummm...with the exception of last year when it was 132 degrees...I wear a Hawaiian shirt! Actually pull it out of my guitar case and put it on before saying a word!

  4. A) I totally love taking my kids down the rabbit hole that is UK/England/Great Britain. Kids love that, too.
    B) I know a lot of music teachers who would be furious with your insinuation that pop music only belongs in music classes. Don't you know that music class is for serious educational music only? (I can say this and be sarcastic since I am/was a music teacher)
    C) I may or may not have used the quote, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means" from The Princess Bride every year I've been in a classroom. Even funnier when the kids know the origin!
    D) Nick Provenzano eventually takes every conversation back to Saved By The Bell. And now you quote him here. You're just fueling the fire.

    1. I didn't say not to have the UK/England discussion. Just don't do it first day. :)

  5. Great advice! I have a few colleagues the disregard the Selleck advice!